I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
