She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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