there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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