i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
