conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
