i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
