i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so let's talk penis.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
