after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
