giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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