I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
