hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
