I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
