Porn is love you can see.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
