Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
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