Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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