We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize