is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
