Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
