Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
