Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
