Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
