Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
