the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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