My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to calm my uterus...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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