I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
