Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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