Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
