I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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