Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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