I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
