Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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