she was so not down for the gang bang
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
