Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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