Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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