so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
