Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
