I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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