Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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