You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
