we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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