I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
