i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
