I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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