Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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