just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
