Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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