I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
