there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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