Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
