Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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