Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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